This past Sunday was a great day at Connection Church.  The message was about Seven Secrets to having a Sexy Marriage. You can listen to the sermon here at We had a GREAT response! It was fun describing what God sees as “sexy” versus. Genesis 1 and 2 were our main text as we looked at the beginning of creation.

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. He said let there be light, separated light and darkness, created day and night, sky and space, land and sea, trees and plants, sun, moon and stars, fish, animals and birds and wildlife and THEN, the pinnacle of His creation, man and woman!  This is the beginning of God’s design for mankind as well as marriage. This was also the first “union” to take place as God’s first institution and as soon as we see this marriage, the enemy shows up. From day one, the devil has been trying to hurt and destroy marriages.

So what is a Sexy Marriage in God’s Eyes? Yesterday we uncovered the Seven Secrets of a Sexy Marriage and defined them as:

  1. Having honor and respect for one another. We are created in the image of God. Each person deserves honor and respect just as we honor and respect God. Do you truly honor and respect your spouse?
  2. Embracing your uniqueness and differences by learning each other’s language.Learn what fills and fulfills each other! Refuse to let your differences rob you of intimacy.
  3. Know your role within the marriage.The gap between expectation and reality is frustration. It’s your job to close that gap.
  4. Resolve conflict quickly and openly.Conflict will suck the life out of your marriage, but unresolved conflict will kill it.
  5. Work hard to fulfill your purpose in the marriage. Marriage is not all about happiness; it is about work. It is a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something special that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness and purpose will come.
  6. Sex should be sexy.Sex is not an obligation or a reward, withheld as a punishment. Sex should be just as much a part of your marriage as conversation. As a matter of fact, often times the better the conversation, the better the sex.
  7. Trust is a must in a sexy marriage. Have you done anything to break the trust of your spouse or are you doing things to build up that trust?

God wants all of our marriages to be sexy! If we apply these simple secrets to our marriage, we will see lasting results. My challenge to you is to take your spouse out on a date night in the next few weeks. Carve out plenty of time from your busy schedule and make a huge investment into your marriage. Talk, ask questions, share worries, and use these 7 secrets. Just be open about them with each other. Go and enjoy your sexy marriage!